Can You Have Two Best Men (Etiquette & Is It Socially Acceptable)?

While a lot of the focus of a wedding is naturally placed on the bride, grooms often have to make more than a few difficult decisions of their own alongside the wedding planning, and one of the most critical is choosing a best man.

For those who don’t know, this is a position of authority among groomsmen and the best man is typically equivalent to the maid of honor position among bridesmaids, so there’s quite a bit of prestige and responsibility that comes with this position.

The best man is often involved in the planning of elements of the wedding, particularly activities involving the groom, and often helps to make the wedding run smoothly on the actual day itself.

However it can be really difficult for a groom to choose a best man, especially if the groom has a couple of great friendships along with close family members to choose from.

Picking one person to be the best man can potentially hurt those around you who might’ve thought it would’ve been them, and this can make the whole process quite a headache.

Luckily however, if a groomsman is spoiled for choice when it comes to picking a best man, there are a few avenues open to him, one of them being to have multiple best men!

There are no official rules concerning how many best men a groom can have, so it’s not only a perfectly acceptable and understandable course of action, but also a great way to pay your respects to your closest friends without upsetting anyone.

There are a few key things to keep in mind when doing this however to make sure things run smoothly and that your best men don’t trip over each other.

Divide The Tasks

One of the most important things to do if you choose to have two best men is to make sure you allocate tasks clearly and divide them in a way that is both fair, and makes things easier for everyone while respecting that they are an important part of the process.

Typically the best man will plan the bachelor party, as well as a grooms lunch, and other pre-wedding occasions, and can also be involved in the planning of the wedding day itself, as they will often be expected to be on hand to solve problems and take as much stress off the bride and groom as possible to facilitate them having the best day possible.

This is actually one of the areas where having two best men can be considered a real boon to proceedings, as many hands make light work!

Allowing your best men to focus on specific tasks and allocating them in a clear and constructive way will make it much easier for everyone to do a good job or organising things, and will also prevent anyone from feeling left out or getting confused about what they need to do.

Allowing both parties to make their mark and enjoy the process of being best man is really important, and while striking a good balance can be difficult, this really should be something that enriches the process of getting married and makes the planning much easier.

Coordinate The Wardrobe

While having two best men can simplify some matters, it can certainly make others more difficult.

Making sure that your best men have a matching or complimentary wedding attire is key to ensuring that your wedding photos come out great and that the aesthetic of the wedding party looks perfect!

After all, the bridesmaids often wear matching dresses and colors that compliment the colors chosen for the wedding, and the best men shouldn’t shirk their responsibility as a part of the main wedding party.

While some best men may not like this idea, getting them to agree to a complimentary choice of suit is key and you can make this a fun part of the pre-wedding activities by going for fittings together and making it a part of the fun for the groom and the other important men in his life.

Wedding Day Tasks

On the day of the wedding itself, having two best men is where the real benefits come into play.

Often times a single best man will have a fairly stressful day, as it’s their responsibility to keep track of timings, keeping the groomsmen and the larger wedding party organised and oriented, as well as readying the rings, signing the marriage certificate as a witness and giving the best mans speech at the reception.

This is a considerable list of responsibilities, and while most best men will rise to the challenge with aplomb, being able to divide these responsibilities can make everything run much smoother and help your best men to enjoy proceedings as much as everyone else!

It’s best for the groom to allocate these tasks clearly and fairly as with the pre wedding activities, and it’s also fine to allocate some tasks to other groomsmen if the best men are unable to do certain tasks. Communication is the key here!

Another bonus is that you can expect to get two best man’s speeches, so prepare yourself for double the humiliation if you do go down this route!

Alternative Ideas

If you’re struggling with deciding who to choose as your best man, and choosing one or even two seems impossible, sometimes it can be an equally fair and valid idea to not choose a best man at all, and simply divide tasks among the groomsmen evenly or according to their particular skills and preferences.

This is a great way to help everyone feel involved and avoid having to make the tough decision about choosing a best man altogether.